Motivation

Motivation is a funny thing.  I have been struggling with it most of the year, even a bit last year.  I had great running years in 2014 and 2015.  I ran a great 50 miler at Pineland and a great marathon at Baystate.  I ran numerous other races feeling awesome....and feeling horrible sometimes.  But I was excited and motivated.

Last year, I was ready and motivated at the start of the year.  Coming off of Baystate and then Busa at the end of 2015, I thought big things were in the cards...not so much.

This year, I was excited about the grand prix series and I thought it would force some motivation.  But, aches and pains diminished that quickly.

I have been pretty excited lately about getting back to more trail and ultra stuff, racing more and just having fun with it.  I can even jump into the road races with little care of how I do, but I still push and still run to the best of my ability.

After Ribfest, I feel a bit more motivated.  I feel this happens after races.  After seeing all the competition.  Seeing people you want to race against and beat.  Running half way decent while being in horrific running shape.  So, I am slightly more motivated.  At least I am while sitting at a desk while I rather be outside.  Then you get outside and are faced with the run...the workout or whatever and I feel like "fuck it" I will just do this or that instead of more of this or that.

Right now, I am ready to roll....I want to race I want to get out there and beat myself into the ground, but that's probably because my back is still killing me and I can't really do that.

So the motivation is funny...cause it is there when I can't or won't do what I think I want to do.  It is there when I have excuses not to do what I want to do...or want to want to do.