Motivation

Motivation is a funny thing.  I have been struggling with it most of the year, even a bit last year.  I had great running years in 2014 and 2015.  I ran a great 50 miler at Pineland and a great marathon at Baystate.  I ran numerous other races feeling awesome....and feeling horrible sometimes.  But I was excited and motivated.

Last year, I was ready and motivated at the start of the year.  Coming off of Baystate and then Busa at the end of 2015, I thought big things were in the cards...not so much.

This year, I was excited about the grand prix series and I thought it would force some motivation.  But, aches and pains diminished that quickly.

I have been pretty excited lately about getting back to more trail and ultra stuff, racing more and just having fun with it.  I can even jump into the road races with little care of how I do, but I still push and still run to the best of my ability.

After Ribfest, I feel a bit more motivated.  I feel this happens after races.  After seeing all the competition.  Seeing people you want to race against and beat.  Running half way decent while being in horrific running shape.  So, I am slightly more motivated.  At least I am while sitting at a desk while I rather be outside.  Then you get outside and are faced with the run...the workout or whatever and I feel like "fuck it" I will just do this or that instead of more of this or that.

Right now, I am ready to roll....I want to race I want to get out there and beat myself into the ground, but that's probably because my back is still killing me and I can't really do that.

So the motivation is funny...cause it is there when I can't or won't do what I think I want to do.  It is there when I have excuses not to do what I want to do...or want to want to do.

Some Racing Happened

I started a post after VCM that I never got to finish, so here it is with what other races and happenings that have occurred.

Thanks to Jack Pilla and Hoka One One New England I was able to run the relay at the VCM.

I ran a two-person mixed team with Jackie.  I expected to not run great, as my training has been pretty non-existent.  People kept saying, oh you will probably surprise yourself, you will run fast.  Well, I know my body pretty well and generally have a good idea of the shape I am in.  I thought if the stars aligned perfectly I could possibly run 6 min pace.  I went out just over that pace and had some miles just under and just over.  I went through 10k in 37:21 (6:00.6 pace) and 10 miles in 1:00:42 (6:04.2 pace).  The watch was reading way long, so it "appeared" I was running faster than the race marks, but I know better than to rely on the GPS.

The last 3 miles were a bitch,. I was in major slow-down mode.  I crossed the 13.1 mat in 1:20:57 (6:10.5 pace), running the last 3.109375 in a dreadfully slow 6:30.7 pace. haha

Jackie wanted to break 7 min pace and pretty much ran that on the dot, negative splitting.

We finished 2nd in our division out of 295 teams.  Not too bad.

The rest of the trip was fun, the main reason I wanted to go.  Burlington is a cool town with a lot of good places to eat and drink!

The week after VCM I was signed up to run Cranmore.  I was originally looking forward to Cranmore and just running different race and just racing in general, hoping it would get me out of my funk.  Well, the Friday I was supposed to leave for Cranmore, I just wasn't feeling it.  More the trip in general than the race itself.  So, I said F-it and stayed in RI.  It was the right choice.  It was a better weekend.  I was able to go to DJ's last RI state meet and got to go bowling.

The next weekend was Gaspee Days 5k.  My first 5k ever and this was 20 years from that date, so of course I had to run.  I knew it would be slow, but I didn't really care.

It was a hot ass day, but I was excited to have double digit Turtles out racing.  I ran pretty stupidly (for my fitness level) and suffered on the way in.  It seems I run well here every other year over the last 4 years.  When I run well I have that moment of WOW, I don't train for 5ks and I ran semi-fast...I wonder what would happened if I tried harder...that generally fades in a week or so.  haha  Although I ran Gaspee for the first time in 1997, I have only run it 8 times...but it seems to be the new norm to run it

1997-20:12
1999-19:22
2001-17:21
2012-17:20
2014-16:46
2015-17:36
2016-16:47
2017-17:52

Next up on the schedule was the Ribfest 5 Miler.  Back to the USATF-NE Grand Prix Series.  Ahhh...I remember being motivated for this...not so much now.  I was still game for the race though.  I now had a good idea of how bad my fitness level was and knew I would not make the same mistakes I made at Gaspee.  Come the Thursday before the race, I did something to my back, which is still killing me, but this made me even more conservative in the race.

I went out at 6 min pace and felt pretty good leg-wise.  I was thenable to track down a good amount of runners over the last half of the race.  My last mile was my fastest at 5:45 (downhill last .25ish).  Overall I was pleased with 29:38...that's pretty much my marathon PR pace! Yup, I have some work to do.

Now, I am feeling slightly more motivated than I had been feeling.  I just need to figure this back thing out.  It certainley feels better when I am up and about, sitting SUCKS!!